By Chris Cosci

Wildlife Rescue, Inc. of Austin, Texas is an organization dedicated to rescuing orphaned and injured animals. When they find a lost or wounded animal, they nurture it back to health and return it to its natural environment. Their goal is to educate the public about respecting animals and understanding their habits, and to encourage people not to keep wild animals as pets.

One of the most dedicated members of this organization is Allison Adams, an employee of the Northwest Animal Clinic in Georgetown. Occasionally, she has baby animals brought to her that are cold. Adams has, shall we say, a very unique way of keeping these animals warm: she puts them in her bra.

Remember, we're talking about small animals here. She doesn't come across a small deer on the side of the road and stuff it down her blouse. Most often she holds baby possums or squirrels. Other bosom buddies have included kittens and cottontail rabbits. Adams claims that possums are the easiest to hold since they are used to being carried around in a pouch, albeit not one made in the factories of Victoria's Secret.

According to Adams, squirrels are the most difficult because they are so used to running around. She says, "every once in a while you hear them squeaking." I'm having a hard time thinking about what it would be like to walk past this woman in a hallway and suddenly hear her breasts squeaking.

This is not an everyday occurrence, mind you. Adams estimates that she has carried roughly 75 animals in her bra over the past six years. This is an average of roughly one animal per month. Her record for the most number of animals in her bra at one time is 12, recalling a small group of possums she carried around for about two hours. Occasionally, she admits, the animals will get grabby. However, she chalks it up to instinct. Besides, there just aren't many other jobs where it's acceptable to have your breasts grabbed by the clientele.

It also isn't uncommon for Adams to have to drive with the extra baggage. She says that it can look kind of funny, "a tail hanging out here, a tail hanging out there." If I saw a tail suddenly pop out of some woman's cleavage, I don't think funny would be the first adjective on my list.

Now, you might think that Adams would be a perfect match for Robert Cusack, the man from the previous article who had monkeys in his pants. However, Adams is already engaged. Of course, there isn't a person alive who can't hear this tidbit of information without wanting to know his reaction to the chest orphanage. Adams even confesses, "everybody has to ask that. Well, it's kind of a stunner when I come home and he goes to hug me, and he can't because I have hissing possums. But I guess you get used to that." I don't think so. There is no way he'll ever get used to coming home and hearing hissing from underneath his wife's shirt. Can you imagine him hanging out with his buddies the next day? They probably sit around saying, "possums again, huh? That's too bad."

While her methods may be unorthodox, at least she has her heart, if not her "cross-your-heart," in the right place. She has probably saved many animals and her cause is a worthy one. She even offers tips to women who may want to follow her lead (I really wouldn't recommend this method to men). It's important not to put all of the animals you find in one cup. Keep yourself in balance by splitting the load. That's sage advice. You're not going to get that hint from Heloise.