By Chris Cosci

“Some people are good at math. Some people are good at golf. I’m good at eating.”

This golden nugget of wisdom was spoken by Don “Moses” Lerman, a competitive eater. Lerman is just one of the growing number of people who are turning the routine task of eating into a sport - a sanctioned sport.

The International Federation of Competitive Eating is a sanctioning body that organizes events around the world. These events find frighteningly dedicated competitors racing to victory by scarfing down large quantities of food in the least amount of time. The 2002 schedule for IFOCE includes competitions for hamburgers, oysters, burritos, and onions.

The IFOCE is dedicated to keeping the sport clean and making sure nobody is breaking any rules. And like other major sports, they are concerned for the health and well-being of their competitors. President Richard Shea has confirmed that “there’s an EMT [at our events], just like a football game.”

To be a competitor, one must have an insatiable appetite, a properly stretched stomach, and most importantly, a ridiculous nickname, like Don “Moses” Lerman - who I believe got his nickname from his miraculous parting of the buffet line at Sizzler. Other big names in the eating circuit include Ed “Cookie” Jarvis and Charles “Hungry” Hardy.

Lerman, the reigning hamburger champion, has shared some of the secrets to his success. For starters, he trains every day to stay in top shape. He does this by drinking over a gallon of water at a time, which helps stretch his stomach. Lerman drinks a gallon of water in two and a half minutes. He has said (and this is a direct quote), “I’ll stretch my stomach until it causes internal bleeding. I do it for the thrill of competition.”

Another competitor, “Krazy” Kevin Lipsitz, trains with his two German shepherds. He said that he “cooks up a family pack of 40 hot dogs and we race.” Sensing an awkward reaction to a stark visual, Lipsitz quickly adds, “we don’t eat out of the same bowl.” Lipsitz’s current claim to fame is being the reigning pickle champ, which he achieved by gulping down two and a half pounds of sour pickles in five minutes. As a reward, he received a gold-plated pickle, which he claims to be his greatest moment. He notes, “a lot of people want that trophy.” He didn’t give an exact number, but I’m pretty sure it’s in the double digits.

While a gold-plated pickle is surely a worthy prize, it doesn’t stack up to the big prize being offered later this month. On February 21, the IFOCE will be holding the first Glutton Bowl. The Glutton Bowl will feature some of the world’s top eaters in a series of competitions, with a top prize of $25,000. If you don’t want to miss any of the intense, heart-pounding, artery-clogging action, the event will be televised - on Fox, of course.

But for Lerman, it’s not about the money. “It’s the recognition… It’s the pat on the back from friends and family.” An inspirational and sentimental thought from a tough athlete. I smell a future Olympic event!