By Chris Cosci

In the world of relationships, dating has become yesterday's news. True love is passe and commitment is slowly becoming obsolete. These days, if you want to stay in style, there's nothing trendier than breaking up.

In response to this growing fad, popular toy company Mattel has recently announced that its top-selling doll, Barbie, has broken up with her long-time boyfriend, Ken. Despite all the attention they're receiving, Barbie and Ken have not been saying much.

Most of the talking is being done by Russell Arons, vice-president of marketing at Mattel. Arons announced that "after 43 years of dating, Barbie and Ken have drifted apart." She went on to say that the famed couple just needed some time away from each other, but promises that they'll still remain friends. The news has many Barbie fans upset. But I think that Arons and all the Barbie fans are missing the bigger picture: she's a doll!

I guess this is what happens when we run out of news about real people; we just start making up stories about our toys and turning them into headlines. Pretty soon we'll be hearing about Care Bears that won't work because they "just don't care anymore." A scandal will break out about how My Little Pony isn't really a pony - it's a miniature horse (yes, there is a difference). And we'll see G.I. Joe getting made over on a special episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

For now, we have to settle for Barbie and Ken, whose breakup is getting about as much attention as some other high-profile celebrity breakups that we really don't care about anymore. And when you're talking about a breakup, there's only one thing people care about: how are the two people coping?

Oh, who am I kidding? Everybody wants to know what went wrong. They want the "juicy details." Because if we can't be certain that these two people are truly hurting, how are we supposed to feel better about ourselves?

And so the theories start forming. Did they break up because Barbie had waited 43 years, and Ken still hadn't popped the question? It's possible. After all, that must be some kind of record. And for those guys out there who aren't toys, I would not recommend waiting 43 years. In fact, I wouldn't recommend more than three years. Otherwise, you're just asking for trouble.

Some people suggest that Barbie's demanding schedule put a strain on the relationship. After all, she doesn't seem to be satisfied with just any career. She is obviously some sort of certified genius, working as a dentist, an astronaut, and a paleontologist - you know, all the typical jobs of every little girl's fantasy. It's good to know the children have a realistic role model to admire.

While Ken's commitment issues and Barbie's remarkable career history seem to be legitimate grounds for the split, Arons has another idea. This fall, a new guy is coming to town. Barbie is going to have her wandering eyes locked onto Blaine, a beachgoer from Australia. Ken simply won't be able to compete with Blaine's boyish charms and sexy accent.

But let's be honest. This won't be the first time Barbie will have relations with someone other than Ken. Barbie has certainly been in households where Ken was not around, and she has probably had plenty of flings with G.I. Joe and He-Man. In fact, I'm pretty sure there are some places where Barbie has experimented with Malibu Stacy.

Of course, there are some cynics who feel the breakup is nothing more than a marketing scheme - a ploy to boost sales. Where would they ever get such an outlandish idea? Exploiting an emotional situation just to a make a few dollars? That's just disgusting.

Whatever the reason, I'm sure Barbie and Ken will manage to survive. And I'm sure they'll both be around for a long time to come. After all, they are made of plastic.