By Chris Cosci

Penguins are fascinating creatures. With their signature “tuxedo” look and their impressive swimming abilities, these flightless birds are a favorite among nature enthusiasts.

Unlike most members of the animal kingdom, penguins mate for life. This respected characteristic has unfortunately posed a problem for the penguins at the New York Aquarium, located in Coney Island. The problem is due to an unbalanced penguin population. There are 22 male penguins, but only 10 female penguins.

The female penguins have started to develop habits that are very unorthodox for their species. Seizing the opportunity, the females have become, shall we say, promiscuous. Breaking with tradition, the females have started dividing their time, playing the field and hooking up with multiple males.

What makes it even more unusual is that the females are the aggressive gender. With more males than females, you would expect that each female would find her one perfect mate. As a result, the males would be more aggressive, trying to hook up with a female before they were all taken. Then, after all the matches were made, the remaining males would hang out in their bachelor pads and visit strip clubs on the weekends.

Instead, the males have lucked out with the females becoming unnaturally tired of their mates. After possibly explaining to the males how they “need their space,” the females began experimenting with new partners.

While most of the penguins were creating an animal kingdom version of Woodstock, there was one couple that caught the attention of the penguin keepers. Unlike the other couples, these two penguins shared the same nest for over eight years. As one keeper noted, “they are totally devoted to each other. They never leave each other’s side and have the neatest nest in the colony.”

This is more in line with typical penguin behavior — only there’s one little twist. I think the scenario is best described by keeper Stephanie Mitchell, who was observing the… um… procreative habits of the penguins:

“I was only seeing one mate with the other, but then one of the other keepers saw it happening the other way around.”

Now, let’s look at this scenario again. Two penguins. Both are devoted to each. Both are very neat. And when they procreate, they go both ways.

That’s right - they’re gay penguins. After coming to this conclusion, keepers performed blood tests, verifying yes — they’re both males. Apparently, these two were not pleased with the females’ behavior and decided to take matters into their own wings, so to speak.

So, in New York (of all places), penguins have joined the gay community - not that there’s anything wrong with that.