By Chris Cosci

The Happy Meal has long been a popular menu item for children at McDonald's. Although it comes with a kid-size portion of food, it's the toy they include that really makes it appealing. Now, after all these years, McDonald's has announced that they are going to offer a Happy Meal for adults.

Upon hearing this news, I started to consider the possibilities of what they might include in an adult Happy Meal. Maybe "adult Happy Meal" is not the right term. After all, that sounds like something you would order in a curtained-off room, with people in various stages of undress on the box. I don't think McDonald's is going to be giving out those kind of toys.

I was thinking more along the lines of collectible items. Instead of focusing on kid's movies and television shows, they can promote more grown-up material like Lord of the Rings or The Sopranos. They can include small books with trivia questions or behind-the-scenes information. Or better yet, they can have DVDs with scenes, interviews, and other bonus material. The possibilities are endless.

Unfortunately, this is not quite what McDonald's had in mind. Instead, this so-called Happy Meal is yet another attempt to change their image from a den of fat and calories to a safe haven for the healthy. The Happy Meal comes with a salad and bottled water. And the toy? A pedometer. It also includes a small pamphlet with advice on exercising. If you ask me, this sounds more like a Depressing Meal.

How are they going to top themselves with the next Happy Meal? Maybe a headband or jogging weights or, dare I dream it, a heart monitor. And they can throw in a book that talks about the wonderful world of vegetables.

McDonald's really seems to be putting a lot of effort into helping our waistband-expanding society to lose the excess weight they gained by... well... eating at McDonald's. This healthy Happy Meal comes just a few short months after it was announced that they would stop serving "super-size" portions, bringing an end to a phrase that practically defined our society's "bigger is better" mentality.

And it doesn't stop there. The next step in their crusade is to play into the low-carb trend sweeping the nation. Like a number of other fast food restaurants, they will soon offer bunless versions of their hamburgers. Instead of a bun, the burger will come served in a bowl, atop a bed of lettuce. Consider it a Big Mac Salad.

So apparently, you can make anything healthier just by taking away the bread and putting it on a pile of lettuce. Want a slice of pizza? Just scrape everything off the crust and toss it in with some mixed greens. For dessert, don't put that frozen yogurt in one of those high-carb ice cream cones. Scoop it onto a salad instead. And don't forget the hot fudge!

Of course, even with all these new plans, McDonald's will still offer the same less-healthy options that have made them so famous. So now it's up to us to decide. We can either treat ourselves right and choose the healthy stuff, or we can satisfy our temptation and go for the grease. It's a difficult choice to make - one you can ponder over a large order of fries.