By Chris Cosci

Sometimes, when you are really angry, you just feel like yelling. Maybe you're upset about your baseball team losing a close game. Maybe your computer just crashed for the tenth time in the last hour. Or maybe some jerk cut you off and you just want to roll down your window, shout out how much of an idiot he is, and say how you hope he gets pulled over by the cops or gets a flat tire, and that you wish you could just pull him over yourself, yank his keys out of the ignition, and shove them up his... I think you catch my drift.

Whatever the case, the desire to scream can be overwhelming. Some people say that yelling doesn't solve anything and that you should use some method of relaxation like deep breaths, counting to ten, or doing yoga. Of course, these people often make the mistake of suggesting this when somebody is already very mad, which only makes the mad person want to lift them by the collar and toss them out the nearest window.

On the other hand, there are people who feel that venting your frustration through yelling can be therapeutic. This was the driving philosophy behind "Vent-Line," a telephone service set up by Phillip Doyen, a computer repairman in Maine. If you are ever ticked off about something, you just dial the "Vent-Line" number, and Doyen will answer the phone and listen while you spew out words of anger and discontent.

You might be wondering why he allows himself to bear the brunt of these tirades. According to Doyen, "I'm in it for the money, like everybody else." You didn't really think this phone ranting was free, did you? Of course not. In fact, it will cost you $1.99 a minute to use the "Vent-Line," which is a brilliant idea when you consider how many people will feel like calling the line again after they get their phone bills.

Some people might think that this sounds like a cheap way to get some quick therapy. There's just one minor issue: Doyen is not a licensed therapist. In fact, this phone service has ruffled a lot of feathers among the mental health community. A lot of professionals are worked up over the idea and want to have the line shut down. Leslie Brancato of the Community Counseling Center in Portland feels that Doyen's service may actually make some people more upset. She adds, "that he is charging $1.99 a minute is, in my opinion, totally exploitative." Sounds like somebody could use the "Vent-Line."

Other agencies are urging state officials to investigate the legality of the service. Even if they find the service to be within the limits of the law, these professionals still suggest that people find more helpful, legitimate ways of handling their emotions.

But Doyen defends his service by saying "it's not medicine, it's just communication." Of course, you can get the same level of communication by yelling at a wall, but that's beside the point. Sticking with his glass-half-full attitude, Doyen claims "if it helps people, great." And if doesn't help? Well, I guess that would make the customer really mad. And then they can call him again to yell about it. Wow - this guy is a genius!

Seriously, the main problem with the "Vent-Line" is that it offers no real resolution for angry people. Sure, punching a wall or throwing a pillow across the room doesn't resolve anything either. But at least those methods are free - unless you break a bone in your hand or accidentally knock over a vase with that pillow.

In the end, everybody will have their own opinion about this service. In fact, if you want to give me a call, I would love to listen to your opinion. I accept Visa or MasterCard.