By Chris Cosci

Did you hear the latest celebrity gossip? Of course you did. After all, it's the most important event to happen in our cultural history since, well, last week!

Over the weekend, Jennifer Lopez (or J. Lo to all of you fans who just refuse to let that nickname die a peaceful death) married Marc Anthony. The news was very exciting for lots of people. Well, maybe for a few people... okay, maybe just for Lopez and Anthony. Then again - ah, who really cares?

The news came as a surprise to millions, raising some eyebrows and a few important questions. The most important question is: how can we make money off of this? The answer to that is easy. Shortly after the announcement of the wedding, London bookmakers Ladbrokes set odds on the length of the marriage. They are paying 3 to 1 odds that the marriage will be over by the end of the year. I bet even Lopez would put some money down on that deal.

If you really have the gambling bug, Ladbrokes also offer a few other bets. They are giving 10 to 1 odds that Lopez will eventually surpass Elizabeth Taylor in number of marriages (this would be Lopez's third marriage; Taylor has eight). And for the true gambler, they are giving 14 to 1 odds that Lopez will marry recently dumped boyfriend Ben Affleck by the end of the year. Do you get the feeling that nobody is taking Lopez's love life seriously?

But why stop with those odds? There should be more. How about 5 to 1 that Anthony will appear in Lopez's next video or vice versa? Let's have 10 to 1 odds on Anthony buying Lopez a large piece of jewelry, one that can be seen from space without the aid of a telescope. And 25 to 1 that the two will have a baby within the next year, and that they'll name the child after an item in their refrigerator. Everyone will be cooing over little Salsa Anthony.

I'll give you a few odds that I think everyone can agree with. Odds that this will be the last surprise celebrity wedding in the next six months: A million to one. Odds that people will be surprised if this marriage doesn't work out: A trillion to one. Odds that I will care, regardless of the outcome: absolutely zero.

What I really care about is how insignificant many celebrities make weddings appear. They make it look like something you do when you have no awards to attend, no movie to shoot, no music to record and you just have nothing better to do. "So, what do you want to do this weekend?" "I don't know. I hear the weather is supposed to be nice - you want to get married?" "Sure. That sounds like fun."

Who knows? Maybe Lopez and Anthony are serious about this relationship. After all, in a recent interview, Anthony refused to comment on whether the wedding really happened or not. Most of you non-romantics might think he is just trying to keep his personal life private. But what if he is just so happy with the relationship that he doesn't want to share his joy with anyone? Maybe he wants to hold on to all of that joy for himself. Before you choose to argue, ask yourself this: does that make any less sense than anything else you've heard about this occasion?

There is still one more scenario that we may not have thought about yet: what if they really didn't get married? What if this is all some elaborate hoax? Maybe Anthony is doing this to get attention for his new album. And maybe Lopez is trying to get attention for... the sake of getting attention.

I know, it's such a horrible suggestion that Lopez and Anthony would do something like getting married strictly for publicity. Celebrities really wouldn't stoop that low... Oh, who am I kidding?