By Chris Cosci

This past weekend, people around the world were witnesses to a bizarre spectacle. In select cities, a group of concerned citizens rode their bicycles to protest the world's dependency on oil. Bicycling is a great, healthy alternative for people who tend to drive everywhere, so organizing a large-scale bike ride seems like a natural, effective way to protest this habit. However, that was not what made this protest a bizarre spectacle.

The protesters wanted to make sure that people paid attention to what was going on. Otherwise, the average person might think that these riders were simply out for group exercise or preparing for the Tour de France. So the protesters did what anybody would do to get a little extra attention... they took off their clothes.

This is an annual event known as the World Naked Bike Ride. Started in 2003, the WNBR is an unusual mix of the respectably well intentioned and the vaguely unsettling. While not entirely legal, the WNBR has grown each year both in the number of participants and the number of protest locations.

There is definitely a worthy cause at the core of the WNBR. However, unlike the protesters themselves, that cause is covered up. The call against oil dependency is overshadowed by the fact that these people are riding around naked. It doesn't help that the official Web site states that the WNBR is “all about protesting oil dependency and celebrating the power and individuality of our bodies.” While they're at it, why don't they ride around with puppies and add “advocating pet adoption” to the list? (Puppies, not kittens; kittens and naked -- not a good combination.)

The problem is that the protesters want to have their cake and eat it, too... naked. However, when a person comes home after seeing this protest, the reaction will not be “Hey, I saw a bunch of people protesting oil dependency today; I think I should start driving less.” Instead, it will be more like, “Hey, I saw a bunch of naked people on bicycles today; I think we should move.”

If the organizers of the WNBR insist on riding without clothes, they must have a good reason. On their Web site, they claim, “We face automobiles with our naked bodies as the best way of defending our dignity.” Bravo.

In fairness, they also claim that they are “exposing the unique dangers faced by cyclists and pedestrians as well as the negative consequences we all face due to dependence on oil, and other forms of non-renewable energy.” Apparently, those negative consequences include having to watch a bunch of naked people ride their bikes.

And what would a protest be without chants? In order to get their message across, the WNBR organizers have composed a few lyrical masterpieces to yell out while whizzing past stunned pedestrians. Here's one of the numerous gems you'll find on the official WNBR Web site:

“Hey, it's getting hot in here; stop putting CO2 in the atmosphere.
Hey, it's getting hot in here; so take off all your clothes and go cycling!”

In addition to getting the message out to the people, this chant allows protesters to proudly announce, “We have no sense of rhythm -- and we can't rhyme, either!”

I guess my primary concern is that cycling is not an ideal activity for somebody who is unclothed. While there are certainly worse activities (fishing and wood chopping come to mind), bicycles are not exactly designed to adequately protect the naked body. Of course, most riders don't ride entirely naked. They do wear bike helmets. Still, I don't think that's going to help when somebody hits a pothole.

The good news is that the event is merely clothing-optional. People are welcome to join the protest wearing some clothing. Maybe the event organizers haven't completely forgotten their original purpose after all. So if people want to participate, they can leave their shorts on. However, I'd still leave the kittens at home.