By Chris Cosci

This weekend I went to see Jurassic Park III. There's something about the dark theater and the big screen that makes going out to see a movie more exciting than just watching one at home. Recently, though, going to the movies has become a test of skills in the art of patience.

First off, theaters have now started the practice of showing commercials before a movie starts. If I wanted commercials, I'd be home watching television. At the movie this weekend, I saw commercials for a hair-coloring product, a credit card, and a major department store (I know the brand-names, but I refuse to give them the satisfaction of thinking I remembered them).

Previews I understand. Theaters want you to come back to see other films, so they tempt you by showing you upcoming movies you may want to see. However, if I came to see a movie about dinosaurs, there is no reason I should have to sit through a commercial for hair coloring. What's the point? Do they expect people to leave the theater saying, "That was a pretty good movie and you know what? Now I'm thinking of changing my hair color."

I'll live with this though. It's just another example of Corporate America trying to make sure you can't even breathe without being told what you should buy. My biggest problem with going to the movies lately is the people.

People tend to forget that they are not in their living room. They forget that they have an audience around them that doesn't want to hear their running commentary on the movie. Near the end of the movie this weekend, a number of people to the right of me starting having a conversation. They weren't whispering, either. They just started talking. I saw a few heads turn in the direction of these people, and they eventually settled down for the rest of the movie. What could possibly be so important that they had to discuss it right then?

Then, there's the inevitable people who don't turn off their cell phones. I was spared this problem this weekend, but I have fallen victim to their behavior in the past. When I go to the theater, I go to get away from the distractions like ringing telephones, doorbells, and traffic outside my house. How important do these people think they are that they have to be able to be reached in those two hours? Are they all doctors? Did they ever hear of pagers or setting the phone on vibrate?

What annoys me the most, though, are small children - especially babies. Two couples brought infants into the theater with them to Jurassic Park III. What is the matter with these people? Do they really think the baby is going to sleep through the loud dinosaurs and explosions? No. The babies get scared. They don't know what's happening. Then they start crying. And parents no longer bring crying babies to the lobby. No, they try to quiet the baby down in the theater. It doesn't work!

The worst case I've experienced was when this one woman brought a baby and her two children into an R-rated film. The baby started crying during the last fifteen minutes. Instead of taking the baby out, she put her hand over the babies' mouth, which only aggravated the kid and made it cry more. Throughout the entire last fifteen minutes, people in the theater were shouting at this woman to remove the baby, and she wouldn't move.

I have also been to R-rated films with sex, foul language, and violence where people have brought their five- and six-year olds with them. What makes them think this is appropriate? They complain that TV and video games are too violent and graphic for children, and then they take their kids to these movies. Get a babysitter. Leave the kids with family. If you can't find anyone - stay home! Find something to do with your child or go see a film that's appropriate for their age.

I yearn for the day when people respect other moviegoers' rights to enjoy a movie in peace.