By Chris Cosci

Elevators bring out the strangest behaviors in people. It's interesting to see how some people will sometimes lose all sense of logic and rational thought when they approach an elevator.

For instance, there are some people who fall into a zombie-like trance as they approach elevators. They will walk right past me and push the same button they saw me push just seconds before, as if they were programmed robots whose mission is to push that button.

These people aren't thinking. They see the button lit up. It should be quite obvious that someone has pushed the button already. Yet they push it again, as if they have the "magic touch" - their fingertips perfectly contoured so that the elevators recognize their touch and answer immediately to their call.

Then, there are some people who will be in such a rush that they feel it necessary to hit the same button over and over again, really, really fast. It looks like they're hopped up on espresso and could literally explode if they had to stand still. And you know they'll just blow up if you try to tell them rationally that the elevators won't come any faster. Elevators don't say, "Hey, that person is in a rush. I better go pick him up now and get him to his floor as fast as possible."

Actually, I think it would be funny if elevators were programmed to recognize when a button is pressed more than fifty times in a second. These "smart" elevators would start operating even slower, causing the person in a rush to go ballistic until they finally decided to climb up the stairs.

And this brings me to my real pet peeve. From what I've noticed, we live in a very health-conscious society. Everything nowadays is being made fat-free, sugar-free, caffeine-free, calorie-free, flavor-free, etc. People are trying all sorts of diets to lose weight and pretending to do more exercise.

But, walk up a flight of stairs? You must be crazy! I once was on an elevator going straight up to the 30th floor. No one else was on the elevator with me. When the elevator reached the 28th floor, it stopped. When the doors opened, this young, energetic woman practically skipped into the elevator and cheerfully pushed the button for the 29th floor. I happen to know that there's a staircase to the 29th floor right outside of the elevator bank.

Would it kill people to walk up one flight of stairs? I'm telling you now, over half the people in my office, including myself, could probably use the extra exercise.

To add to this craziness, the elevators I ride in my building service floors 24 through 35. Yet, for some reason, they also service the 2nd floor. Why? Nobody knows. Believe me. I've asked. And what's worse is that there's a staircase in the same lobby as the elevators. I have seen people run to catch the elevator, only to get inside the elevator and push the button for the 2nd floor.

It's possible that this staircase actually defies physics and really brings people to another dimension or some "Being John Malkovich"-like floor one-and-a-half. Somehow, I doubt it.

It's time that people stop becoming slaves to the elevators. Think before you push a button. And if you're on the 2nd floor and I'm in the elevator coming down from the 30th floor - you better take the stairs to the lobby.