By Chris Cosci

Crossword puzzles are interesting creations. In concept, they seem so simple. You're given a bunch of clues, and you have a blank grid to fill in the answers. You know how many letters are in each answer. And if you get stuck on one answer, then you can fill in the letters from other words to help you out. Piece of cake.

But crossword puzzle makers are devious creatures, with a never-ending supply of words that I'm sure they invented themselves. Only in crossword puzzles will you find such made-up words as ort, adit, and etui. If you ever want to find out if somebody does crossword puzzles regularly, just mention one of these words. "An ort? Why, that's a table scrap for a dog. Who doesn't know that?"

And if you think obscure words are the only pitfall, you are sadly mistaken. In some puzzles, being bilingual, trilingual, or occasionally quadrilingual is necessary. You will frequently find summertime in France (ete), your mother's sister in Spain (tia), and a numeric starting point in Germany (eins). And in case that's not enough, sometimes you even have to brush up on your Latin - despite the fact that the language has been dead for centuries.

Once you have your "Foreign Languages for Dummies" book handy, get ready for the next curveball. Crossword puzzle designers will take creative liberties with English words, using unheard-of alternate spellings to fit their purpose. Depending on the size word you need to fill in, a synonym for spooky can be "eerie" or "eery." An Arab prince can be "emir" or "emeer" (not to be confused with "amir," an Islamic nobleman). And cats in crossword puzzles don't just say "meow." They can say "miaou" or "miaow." And we wonder why so many people can't spell in our country.

However, it's the proper names that really stand out in crossword puzzles. Some crossword puzzles require an in-depth knowledge of world geography - especially rivers. Rivers like the Oder in Germany and the Aare in Switzerland are common crossword puzzle traps. I don't think the Swiss even know where the Aare is. And then there's the easily confusable combo of the Iser and the Yser, a Czech and a Belgian river, respectively.

Okay, so you've brushed up on your archaic vocabulary, you've learned French, Spanish, Italian, German, Latin, and Hebrew, and you've spent days memorizing every world atlas you can find. But before you jump in, you still need to make sure you're all set with roman numerals, anatomy, world currency, and Greek and Roman mythology. Perhaps you should try that word search puzzle instead.

But there's still one more critical subject to tackle. When it comes to proper names, nothing beats a good unusual first name. Baseball has provided crossword puzzlers with a veritable goldmine of first names, including Orel (Hershiser), Enos (Slaughter) and Tris (Speaker). And then there's the father-son architect duo of Eliel and Eero Saarinen. But none of these can measure up to Charlie Chaplin's wife, Oona. That's a name that's just begging to be used.

And this brings up a great idea. How wonderful would it be to have your children known by millions of people across the world for generations to come? All you need to do is give them a unique, abnormal name, and make sure they get a decent amount of exposure. Sure, they may be tormented endlessly in school and have to live a life of mockery and ridicule. But think of how much they'll appreciate it when their name appears in hundreds of crossword puzzles. You'll be so proud of your little Eala.