By Chris Cosci

This past June, Virgin Atlantic Airways launched its newest plane, the Airbus A340-600. Billed as the world's longest jetliner, the Airbus incorporates a lot of technology to make flights more comfortable, more relaxing, and more fun.

Comfort was a high priority. That's why the plane features dip-and-recline sleeper seats in business class. Already seen on other airlines, these seats don't just recline, they slide down to become a flat bed. This is a vast improvement over most airline seats, which only recline back from the vertical position roughly one thousandth of an inch.

However, the major selling point for the A340-600 is the entertainment. The newest trend for flights is to get rid of the in-flight movie screens and provide each passenger with their own video screen. Most airlines that use this technology offer satellite television or similar movie channels that run on scheduled times. Therefore, if you want to watch a certain movie, you have to start watching it when it starts playing.

The system on the A340-600 holds over 300 hours of video on hard drives that allow passengers to choose what they want to watch, when they want to watch it. The system offers 40 premiere movies and more than 200 hours of other programming split into various genres. And if that weren't enough, there's access to 50 popular CDs for music fans, video games for the kids, and text messaging for the computer geeks.

But even with all of this technology, the planes are already being brought in for repairs... to the changing tables in the bathrooms. Even though the A340-600 offers a plethora of choices to keep passengers occupied, there are still those special passengers that prefer sticking to old-fashioned, traditional entertainment on flights. Specifically, they prefer registering for membership in the prestigious mile-high club.

Movies, video games and reclining seats can't stop passengers from stirring up passion in the plane's lavatories. Tempted by the thrill of making love just inches away from a toilet and a sanitary napkin dispenser, people have left the comfort of their seats for a chance to satisfy their urges in the most cramped and least romantic setting possible. In the case of the A340-600, passengers get the extra benefit of irony by doing it in a plane with the word "Virgin" on the tail.

The problem for Virgin Airways is that the passengers are using the pull-down tables in the restrooms that were installed for changing diapers (just in case making love in a restroom wasn't filthy enough). As you can imagine, two undulating adults weigh somewhat more than a baby with a dirty diaper. Apparently, the changing tables were not put through proper stress-testing and experimental couples have caused considerable damage to the equipment.

Obviously, the airlines are overlooking a simple solution - bedrooms. You can eliminate a few rows from the rear of the plane and install a couple of beds. Add some mood lighting and crank up Barry White on the entertainment system, and you have the perfect setting for that special occasion. Of course, some might consider that cheating. They would claim that the thrill would be lost. It doesn't really matter to me. They can make love anywhere they want, as long as I have something else to drown out the noise.