By Chris Cosci

Recently, it was brought to my attention that I am a difficult person to shop for. My immediate reaction was to vehemently deny the accusation. That's when the intense interrogation started. Anybody who has ever claimed they were easy to shop for has probably experienced the following exchange of words:

"I'm not difficult to shop for. I'll like whatever you buy me."

"Like what?"

[Awkward pause] "I don't know."

And there it is. Pressured by the demand to provide an immediate response, the accused stands dazed and confused, like a deer caught in headlights. Some people will try to cover themselves by adding the word "anything." "I don't know - anything."

This is a blatant lie. If these people were to receive an electronic monkey programmed to dance around and play the banjo while singing "Achy Breaky Heart," you can be pretty sure they're not going to like it. Of course, if they do like the singing monkey, then there's a chance you could buy them anything - counseling sessions may be a good start.

The truth is I'm usually happy with just about anything I receive as a gift. I even enjoy the most ridiculous gifts. A few years ago, somebody bought me (as a gag gift) a small bag of rubber dinosaurs. I still have them, and they are part of the decor on my desk at the office. This year, my girlfriend bought me a small plastic doohickey (I love using complex scientific terms) that squeezes every last drop out of a tube of toothpaste. It's as non-glamorous a gift as one could receive, but I liked it, and I use it every day. (For the record, before you think my girlfriend is the worst gift buyer in the world, she did also give me a CD player, which I really needed and liked very much - maybe even more than the toothpaste squeezer).

Some people will say that I'm difficult to shop for because I'm a guy. They say that women are easier to shop for. For women, you just have to buy something that glitters, glimmers, and shines, and isn't used in the kitchen. I know - that's one of those sweeping generalizations. I'm sure there are plenty of women who wouldn't be content with getting jewelry - they'd prefer a Porsche. However, most guys can default to jewelry if they can't think of anything else, and the woman will usually be very happy.

With guys, it's not quite the same. There's no default. Sure, some people will say power tools, but I have no need for a five-speed, double-edged belt sander with an attached paint scraper.

I really am not sure what makes me such a difficult person to shop for. I think people try too hard to come up with "The Perfect Gift." I know that I am often guilty of this. It's not enough to buy something simple that the person would like, it has to be a truly memorable gift - one the person will use and remember forever. But these gifts are often too hard to find and require hours of frustration at local stores and malls.

What's the solution? I don't know - anything (what were you expecting?). It doesn't help that I usually have this bizarre, unnatural tendency to actually buy something myself when I want it. I don't try to be difficult to shop for. There really are a lot of things I like - I just can't tell you what they are.