By Chris Cosci

They say that money makes the world go 'round. But when you're dining out with friends and the waiter brings the check, money can also make the world come to a screeching halt. After calculating the tip, dividing the total equally and arriving at a figure of $17.25 for each person, you're suddenly surrounded by a chorus of people saying "all I have are twenties."

The reason for this is because just about every ATM in the world only dispenses $20 bills. I bet even ATMs in China dispense $20 bills - not only making it hard to make change, but also wreaking havoc with the conversion rate. If you're lucky, one of your friends will be that rare individual who thankfully walks around with a wad of singles. If this is the case, make sure to always invite that person along with you to dinner. Even if your friendship dissolves into pure animosity, keep the invitation open. It's a small price to pay for reducing your stress when figuring out the check.

Of course, paying a check is not the only time the $20 bill is inconvenient. It also causes problems when all you want to buy is a candy bar. It's such a nuisance when you have to break a $20 bill just to buy something for 75 cents. On the other hand, at least you'll have plenty of change for when you go to dinner that evening.

I think we need to come up with a better solution. We need more flexibility at the ATM. When we take out $100, we should be allowed to request four twenties, a ten, a five and five singles. You can't tell me we don't have the technology to do this. And it's not like this is a new concept. We should have all learned this lesson playing Monopoly. At the beginning of the game, each player starts out with $1,500. But because most transactions require smaller bills, you don't give each player three $500 bills. Instead, you give out two $500 bills, two $100 bills, two $50 bills, six $20 bills, five $10 bills, five $5 bills and five $1 bills. Go ahead, I'll give you a minute to verify the numbers.

The point is, we need to work on making smaller bills more accessible. Instead, our government is spending more time making our currency look more and more like those Monopoly bills. They're using the right source, but they're working on the wrong concept.

Our currency is looking increasingly comical with each new release. The once-stately pictures of our founding fathers are being increased to cartoonish proportions. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the next series of bills replaces the formal portraits with actual caricatures. "Hey, look - it's Abraham Lincoln riding a pony!"

Still, these new bills do contain increased security measures that protect the stability of our economy (or something like that). However, not all new currency is designed with national security in mind. For example, the government has continually attempted to replace our one-dollar bills with coins. There's just one problem: people seem to hate carrying around coins. So whether it's the Susan B. Anthony coin or the more recent Sacagawea coin, people just don't seem to care. We have our George Washington singles, and that's good enough for us.

The only coins that stirred up any interest were the quarters featured in the still-running State Quarters program. This ambitious program will eventually feature fifty different quarters, each with a unique design representing one of our country's states. The Treasury started the program in 1999, and continues to release five new coins each year.

When the program was first announced, people were clamoring to get a view of each successive state's design. Unfortunately, nobody wanted to use these quarters. Instead, they bought collectible booklets to hold each quarter. This way, years after the program ends, people can show off their coins, which by then will be worth, roughly, the same $12.50 they're worth now.

Now, five years later, apathy has finally set in. While Delaware and New Jersey enjoyed great exposure from being released during the early hype, other states like North Dakota and Wyoming will eventually come out to face a generally indifferent nation. And why don't we care? Because no matter how interesting the designs are, they still won't help us split the check at dinner.