By Chris Cosci

We live in an age where new and incredible technologies are being invented on virtually a daily basis. Every once in a while, there is an amazing breakthrough - something that makes headlines and grabs people's attention. And when people are suitably impressed by this new invention, they will often say it's the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Over the years, our society has seen the introduction of many inventions that have changed the way we live, such as the airplane, the television and the personal computer. Still, when it comes to making comparisons, none of these inventions have managed to surpass sliced bread as our collective choice for the "greatest invention." What is it, exactly, that makes sliced bread the pinnacle of innovation?

Maybe I'm just jaded because I have always had sliced bread. I don't know what it was like to have to eat bread that wasn't already sliced for me. It's like kids today who only know the convenience of CDs and the Internet. Those kids are unaware that some of us actually lived in a time when we had to fast forward through a tape to hear a specific song, or write a letter to a friend using pen and paper.

Given how prominent the invention of sliced bread remains to this day, life must have been absolutely horrible before it was introduced - people sitting around, sobbing over their inability to eat bread in evenly sized slices. Maybe slicing bread at home was so difficult that people were forced to eat an entire loaf at a time. They would sit down to a hearty meal with a loaf of bread on their plate, saying to themselves, "if only I could eat just a small portion of this loaf, I would maybe have room for some meat."

It must have been front-page material when it was first introduced. I can see it now: It was another quiet morning. With a cup of coffee in one hand, people stepped outside to pick up the newspaper from the front lawn. Expecting to see some news about government or the economy, they stared in shock at the words printed on top. The headline shouted in large, bold letters: "Man Invents Sliced Bread. Scientists Claim: Greatest Invention Ever!"

Not believing their eyes, they picked the newspaper up and started reading. It must be a misprint. Slowly, neighbors congregated in the street, murmuring in delight about this new development. Is it true? Can we really eat bread by the slice now? Eventually, the air filled with the sounds of cheers and applause as people began to celebrate. No more ripping apart loaves savagely with our bare hands. No more suffering poorly cut bread with our dull kitchen knives. Happiness had been brought back into our lives - all thanks to the wonder of sliced bread!

This extreme recognition must be frustrating for today's inventors and scientists. They can spend years developing a new product that will improve living conditions, save people hundreds of dollars and even clean up the environment, but people will still look at it and say, "it certainly is amazing, but it's not sliced bread."

Some people may argue that the wheel is more celebrated than sliced bread. However, the wheel is known more for its importance than its greatness. Nobody can deny the significance of the wheel, but it just doesn't measure up to sliced bread when it comes to public acceptance. After all, how could the wheel ever measure up to the invention that's used to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?

With all that we have available to us these days, is there anything that could ever topple sliced bread's reign over the realm of great inventions? We'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, that peanut butter and jelly idea has made me hungry. Thankfully, I have sliced bread to make it all possible.