Observations Vol. CLXVII

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By Chris Cosci

Finding the perfect gift for someone can be a difficult task. If holiday shopping is stressing you out, don't worry. Once again, I am happy to present you with some great ideas that should make finishing up that gift list a snap -- as long as you're the type of person who uses $100 bills as kindling for your fireplace.

When it comes to buying gifts, the people we love to spoil most are children. Forget all of those Elmo dolls that laugh, sing and do the chicken dance. We want toys that make kids say, "I know this person loves me because they spent so much money on me." So this year, let's focus on some of the best toys that money -- and lots of it -- can buy.

Our journey begins with playing cards. You could always buy a normal deck of cards for about two or three dollars. However, even with a quality plastic coating, playing cards are still made of paper and can easily bend and tear. Kids deserve something better and more durable for their demanding games of Go Fish. That's why a company called "I Want One of Those" offers a set of playing cards made from stainless steel.

Each card is carefully etched in stainless steel and comes in what the company describes as "a stunning precision-engineered stainless steel egg-shaped casket, weighing in at a very impressive 3 kilograms." And don't even think about just tossing that egg-shaped casket in the toy box. The deck comes enclosed in its own soft leather case, which is wrapped closed with a leather tie. And for a grand total of about $1,650, you'll have a deck that's built to last.

Next up, we have a new spin on a classic toy: Mr. Potato Head. When it was first introduced, Mr. Potato Head was simply a box filled with parts -- you supplied the potato. More recently, it has been sold with a plastic potato-shaped body containing pre-positioned holes for the body parts. But this is America, people! We can do better than that.

To take this classic toy to the next level, we call on a perennial favorite, Neiman Marcus. Every year, Neiman Marcus publishes a holiday catalog filled with some extravagant and typically unnecessary gifts. This year's catalog features an exclusive, limited edition Mr. Potato Head that comes complete with the usual batch of body parts and accessories. What makes this particular edition so special is that each one is hand-encrusted with over 23,000 Swarovski crystals.

In addition to covering the potato man himself with crystals, each accessory from hat to shoes is also covered in crystals. The cost for this one-of-a-kind toy: $8,000. And you wouldn't want Mr. Potato Head to be lonely, would you? Of course not! That's why for another eight grand, you can get a crystal-covered Mrs. Potato Head. It may sound a little pricy, but remember: you still don't have to supply your own potato.

Finally, we have a gift that reaches out to children who always wanted their own tree house, but never had a tree in which to build one. From world-famous FAO Schwarz comes the Monkey Mansion Tree House. The kit contains a complete clubhouse with a roof, staircase and balcony. It also comes with a slide and monkey bars. Oh, yes -- it also comes with its own tree.

The tree house is made from a recycled hollow tree trunk, which serves as the entrance to the clubhouse on top of the trunk. So if you don't have a tree in your back yard, you can always spend a few bucks for tree seeds, plant them, wait about twenty years and build your own tree house. Or you can just buy the Monkey Mansion Tree House today, tree included, for a mere $12,000.

So what are you waiting for? Grab your wallet, hop into your classic 1962 Ferrari 250 GTO and find that perfect toy for the child in your life. Whether it's your niece, nephew, child or grandchild, you can be sure they'll have something to play with for the rest of their lives. That would be the box the toy comes in."