By Chris Cosci

Well, another year is quickly coming to a close. That can only mean one thing; it's time to dust off the old crystal ball and see what next year has in store for us. So without further ado, here are the predictions for 2006:

1. On January 2, every computer and electronic gadget purchased in 2005 will immediately become obsolete.

2. For a couple of weeks, the media will be obsessed with a news story about a normal person who does something outrageous or extraordinary. Eventually, that person will receive book offers from many publishing companies to tell his or her story. Networks will rush to air a made-for-TV movie about it. The nation will be gripped by the story. Everyone will be talking about it. Alas, by the end of the year, the person's name will be forgotten and nobody will really care anymore.

3. JC Penney, Macy's and Kohl's will each hold between 200 and 300 one-day sales. They will all be advertised as "the best one day sale of the season."

4. The entertainment industry will continue its unhealthy obsession with giving each Hollywood couple a label that combines both celebrities' first names. The only thing that can stop the trend: a relationship between Faith Ford and Chuck Woolery.

5. The Winter Olympics will dominate the airwaves and provide people with days of entertainment. As usual, figure skating will be one of the most popular events. The nation will be gripped by the competition. Everyone will be talking about it. Alas, by the end of the year, the skaters' names will be forgotten and nobody will really care anymore.

6. As the World Poker Tour starts to fade in popularity, television stations will start to search for the next big it's-not-really-a-sport-but-we'll-call-it-a-sport-anyway event. The result: World Sudoku Tour.

7. Two famous celebrities will make headlines for dating (and of course be given a cute label that combines their first names). Just by coincidence, one or both celebrities will be starring in upcoming, anticipated movies. The press will start making accusations that the relationship is just a shameless publicity stunt. Both celebrities will deny these rumors and insist that they're really in love.

8. Millions of Americans finally stop having withdrawal symptoms as American Idol returns for a new season. After airing a series of auditions that showcase people who can't sing, the competition will begin and the judges will start talking about how this year's contestants are the best group of singers yet. The nation will be gripped by the competition. Everybody will be talking about it. Alas, by the end of the year, the contestants' names will be forgotten and nobody will really care anymore.

9. Many recording artists will release brand new Christmas albums. These albums will add hundreds of new songs to the vast archive of Christmas recordings. Nonetheless, 24-hour Christmas radio stations will still insist on playing Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas" and Wham's "Last Christmas" at least 50 times a day.

10. As the decade passes the midway point, a select group of etymologists and lexicologists will gather and officially decide what the decade will be called. Will it be the zeroes? The naughts? The two-thousands? Whatever name they decide on, it will be met with general distaste and disinterest, and nobody will actually use it.

There you have it. Print yourself a copy and watch in amazement as each of these predictions comes true before your very eyes. Happy New Year!